tanya talks...

Why I’m not wedding material and how I've just realized it.  Wanna hear why?  Let me tell you…

 

The Dress: I’ve been looking at wedding dresses and believe that 99.9 % of them are most definitely, the ugliest things I’ve ever seen in all my years.  Yet, I’ve come to the conclusion it’s not them.  It’s me.  I love fashion, I adore the variety in designs and the use of unique creativity but yet when it comes to wedding dresses, there are few which I believe should not be sitting in pastry cases being sold as pastries. 

 

I’m amazed at when I think how so many people get married all the time, most people pick out one of these dresses.  I keep thinking wow, are people really fond of the idea of looking like a white puffy tartlette while exchanging vows and just suck it up, or do they truly love that dress?   I’m guessing the conclusion is still me, there’s just something wrong with me.  I even looked at non-wedding dress looking wedding dresses which were a bit better but everyone’s going to wonder which one the bride is - haha!  I see it now, while the vows start and I'm up there repeating the vows, everyone is still looking back at the door waiting for the bride to walk in any moment.  Perhaps that’s why people wear such hideous dresses.  To differentiate themselves from the hideous bridesmaid dresses which at least have color!

 

Favors:  Another reason I’m not wedding material; wedding favors.  I want to know who on earth actually uses their favors and what real purpose do they serve?!  You were with us the last 5 hours, do you really need to bring something home with you so that you'll never forget we got married?  Not only did you selflessly watch us talk about ourselves the last multiple hours but now we wanna come home with you, too - IN PRINT!  Guys, this is what cameras are for which most people own in this day and age - to capture moments.  No tin can of mints is going to do the job the way the camera does.  I have decided to get practical favors such as dental floss or maybe even vegetables.  That’s right, don’t forget your eggplant on the way out, folks!

 

Flowers:  What’s up with the obession with flowers, also?  If we had potted flowers or plants, people or myself could take them home and plant them but me carrying a potted plant down the aisle looks odd and I hate that it looks odd.  Or imagine the bouquet toss.  NO GIRLS would be running towards me if I chucked a potted plant behind my head. 

 

The wedding party:  Nothing short of an algebraic equation, let me tell you.  I’ve stood in many weddings.  I have lots of friends I value so much.  Picking the girls for my side with good reasons why was tough.  Leaving others out was tough.  Who was the crazy loon who felt a wedding party was necessary?  Great, let’s get married because I just lost a lot of my friends and only have you now anyway..

 

The traditions involved oh my goodness.  I’m trying to have a good attitude about the whole thing, I swear!  And I know I’ll have the time of my life on the day of this happy affair.  It’s very funny because while I’m not really into a lot of these traditions, I do have this mental image in my head about it being very vintage, very sophisticated, simple, natural.  And perhaps that’s precisely why I don’t like weddings.  All this stuff is just so much.  And it’s one day.  Quite frankly, I’m more excited about the after part from this day and being married to a super cool guy who accepts and is OK with my little sillynesses, INCLUDING my crinkled nose faces when discussing parts of the wedding.  He’s too good to be true…

 

So, I’ll continue down this path.  I’ll continue to plan this over the top occasion and influence it as much as possible with my very non-grandiose and subtle preferences.  Wish me luck.  Lots of it.

 

xoxo

 

My latest routine.

 

630am, alarm starts annoying me.

730am, i've submitted to the alarm.  get up.  pissed off.

745am, most of my mails have been read from a few hours earlier.

9am, arrive at work, relieved yet again to have so many parking options before the rush hits (as opposed to previous routine).

9-930am, panick.  realize there's so much to do today. calm self down repeatedly.

10am, meetings begin.  sit up straight. 

11am, more meetings. close laptop, ruelala.com will still be there later.

12pm, since when are there meetings at lunch time?  have i eaten breakfast yet?

1pm, indulge in the super weird salad combo i have developed a liking for recently: 5 spinach leaves, corn, garbanzo beans, edamame, shredded cheddar cheese, goldfish, ranch dressing - optional: egg when the imitation crab has not fallen into egg tray.

2pm, back to meetings.  coffee, where is the coffee?

3pm, ignore social IMs coming thru.  how do people miss the 'BUSY' status?

4pm, IM colleagues with urgent questions and information but make sure to phrase them as if I am calm, cool, collected.

5pm, panick.  realize all that i didn't do today.  calm self down repeatedly.

530pm, too worked up - read motivational quotes list two times.

6pm, begin cheez its spree.

615pm, begin working on actual work. Are those hives on my arms?

9pm, find a way to get taco time combo meal #3. excellent, he's on his way. 

905pm, wonder if i can buy taco time stock for all i've invested in it lately.

10pm, crabby, cranky, unpleasant attitude has taken over. working.

1015pm, called someone to fight with but they were used to the routine so did not answer. go back to working.

1030pm, chat with janitorial services.  we're becoming very close.  she asked me why i'm not married this time.  i do enjoy her company.  continue working.

1145pm, give up.  headed home. working while driving - messages sent from Windows Phone.

12am, did i eat dinner?  eat again, i don't remember.  ice cream is the only option i can find. finish a few work things remembered while driving.

1am, fall asleep wherever I'm at.

2am-4am, achieve REM, panick in sleep, wake a few times from panicks and am super pissed off about feeling panicked.

630am, alarm starts annoying me.

 

Trying is failing with honor.  Quit trying.  Just Do.

There once was a day where I used to actually blog.  Hopefully that day will come again!  For now, I'll just finish this spec.

I went to the dentist about a month ago.  The hygienist cleaned my teeth then proceeded to have the following dialogue with me using a very slow, serious, low and secretive tone:

 

“Look, you seem like a girl who takes decent care of yourself and someone I’d consider healthy.  Well, you have beautiful teeth and I don’t want to tell you this if you don’t want to hear it so please just tell me now if you don’t want to hear what it is I’m about to say.” From this I sat up in the chair with my eyebrows raised, my ears perked up, incredibly nervous as well as curious to know what she was going to say next so I replied, “No, no please continue!”  She continued and said in a now almost trembling voice, “I just have to tell you this.  If you never brush your teeth again, make sure you do one thing and one thing only.  Floss your teeth.”  I sat back down in the chair laughing inside at what she was telling me.  She went on to talk with her eyes both closed, nostrils slightly flared, and in full concentration, that not enough people floss out there and how upsetting it really is.  She reiterated again, “Look, I’m not trying to sound like a nag and I really don’t want to waste your time nor mine… <suddenly I felt like I was in a relationship and we were trying to define next steps> … but you don’t want to get older and have any gum disease problems because then nice teeth won’t matter.”  I replied in an equally serious voice, “I really appreciate such concern.  Thank you so much for emphasizing the importance of flossing – you’re not wasting your time.”  And she wasn’t!  She was right, I did not floss enough, usually only when something was stuck in my teeth.  She sighed a deep breath and then said to me, “look, I’m really not trying to be hard on you but this is for your own good.  This is your LIFE, Tanya!  Your LIFE!!”  I sat there and nodded.  She continued, “I just see so many people coming in here with gum problems that could have been avoided.”  She’s now looking in the other direction as if tears are about to swell up in her eyes.  I replied, “No, really – this is your job!  I really appreciate that you care so much.”  She continued, “I mean ultimately we all do what we want to do and I have no control over your life and the choices you make.  So if you don’t want me to talk about this ever again I won’t.  This is your life!”  From there I assured her, “No really, it’s OK to be upfront with your patients, you have to be, it’s for our own good!”  She then ran her fingers through her hair and her bangs were slightly messed up at this point but said in a refreshed voice with a smile on her face, “OK, good.  I feel better.”  I replied, “Yes!  Me too!  I feel great!”  I felt we should have parted with a hug at the end of the conversation but instead I got up and walked out the door as my appointment was now over.

 

So guess what I do daily in my office now while working?  I FLOSS, BABY!  She’s going to be so super proud of me!  And honestly this flossing business at your desk is like the best thing ever.  I want to say it’s one of the most underrated things out there.  While I’m thinking about something, I’ll floss.  While I’m waiting for a meeting to start in my office, I’ll floss!  I can floss while on the phone or floss while catching up on emails!  It’s perfect!  I had no idea it was going to be this easy. 

 

No one had ever communicated flossing this way to me, in this tone, using these words, with this level of seriousness.  And guess what, guys?  She was completely effective!  Thanks to her I just saved my gums, I’m sure!  My hygienist is going to be so proud of me next time I see her, that’s all I have to say J

 

And you too, can floss in your office today J

Wanna know a cool little factoid?  My mom, as in Tanya Talks’ mamma dearest, writes stuff too.  It’s been very cool because I'm very proud of her as she's won writing contests and has been published even.  The most interesting part I find about her writing is a lot of her topics have to do with things she’s has never experienced.  She has learned about her subjects simply by word of mouth and talking to people.  I find this truly amazing as at times it’s hard for me to write about things I know about, let alone things I don’t.  I wanted to post a couple of her pieces in which my mother has written as I’ve begged her recently to just send me a few.  I’m not sure she knew her silly daughter was going to post them on the internet but I really love her writing style.  

 

This blog is dedicated to my mom, my most favorite writer.  Her favorite writer, of course after her goofy daughter (I’m adding this part, she’s never said this, haha!), is an American Poet by the name of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. 

 

Mom, while I may write about men being handbags, being addicted to Nabisco Cheez-Its and stealing pens from doctor’s offices, I just have to say, I adore your writing!  I really admire the talent you posses and I thank you for always reassuring me, no topic is ever a bad topic to write about.  You’ve encouraged, promoted and praised self-expression always and I really appreciate you for it – thank you!  I love you lots!

 

Your favorite and only daughter,

Tanya

 

Young Love.

Warm, as a summer day.

Joy, like a child at play.

Fresh, as a rose in May.

The gifts of love can be.

 

Bright, like a crackling fire.

Love, with its sweet desire.

Dreams, that do so inspire.

The heart that’s young and free.

 

Why?

Why among life’s happiness,

Do sullen thoughts abound?

Why through darkened tunnels,

Seeps of sunlight can be found?

 

Why for every answer,

Is a question left unheard?

Why does love survive,

Despite a spoken, unkind word?

 

Why does trust exist,

When there is so much fear to see?

Why are souls imprisoned

While yet others are set free?

 

In its perfect balance

Life must always meet the test.

Drawn to our creator,

Faith will guide us on our quest.

 

The Pilot.

--this was written for my brother—

 

Soaring high up in the sky,

Like birds and wings, I learn to fly.

To fly where no man enters in,

Except with wings all pointed high.

 

To feel the air against the plane,

And hear the winds call out my name.

The mountains would below me lie,

Surrounded by the fruits of rain.

 

Such beauty, one cannot express,

Of earth, clothed in its brilliant dress;

Of bluish waters, emerald lakes,

Seen north and south and east and west.

 

So someday, high up in the air,

I’ll take my wings where eagles dare.

And feel the glowing sunset near,

Above God’s earth, with him, to share.

 

The Hunter.

--this was written for my dad which I think is the reason this one is my most favorite JJ--

He wakes up early morn before the sun begins to rise.

The snow bites at his feet, yet there’s a glimmer in his eyes.

He carries bow in hand, his arrows slung across his back,

In search of the elusive elk crowned with its splendid rack.

 

The forest lies in silence as he glides among the trees.

A bellow pierces through the air and sends him to his knees.

With joyful, throbbing heart, the wide eyed hunter lifts an ear,

In hopes of hearing once again, the mighty moose-like deer.

 

He turns with every sound, but all his efforts are in vain,

The minutes seem like hours and his patience starts to wane.

He climbs atop a mountain ridge and gazes down below,

When suddenly he spots it,

An elk leaping through the snow!

 

It’s path crosses the hunter,

Bursting now with sheer delight.

The bow draws back with quivered aim,

He pulls with all his might.

But lo, the elk has sensed it,

As it bounds without a flinch.

The arrow soars into the air,

And misses by an inch.

 

With heavy heart he sinks

And folds his hands upon his knees,

Atop the peaceful mountain ridge,

Amid the snow-clad trees.

  
Moment.

--my mom wrote this for my grandparents (dad’s side - Webb) in celebrating their 50th anniversary.  I must have been around 10 years old at the time.  During the party, this was actually sung by the entire family including my mom’s youngest and very musically talented sister who flew into town just to sing this to my grandparents as a song with her guitar!-- 

This moment’s very special

Because you are so dear.

We celebrate with love and joy

Your blessed 50^th year.

You’ve been an inspiration

Of what true commitment means.

You’ve shared life’s road of ups and downs.

You’ve conquered many dreams.

 

Your knowledge and your wisdom

We’ll cherish year to year.

The light you’ve shined into our world,

Will never disappear.

 

We stand forever grateful,

To both you, Mom and Dad.

You’ve given us so much of you.

You’ve shared all that you have.

 

And now from this, your children,

We’d proudly like to say,

With all our love and deep respect,

We honor you today.

And always..

I’ve been reflecting on a feeling I’ve been having and writing and re-writing about that feeling but I can’t quite put my finger on what that feeling is or means.  That feeling has to do with me thinking about how I want to live my life.  This all sounds super serious and dramatic as if I’m going to walk down a path in unknown territory here, but it’s nothing like that. 

 

I’ve started this entry multiple times by writing about about different houses I’ve lived in trying to describe this feeling but that wasn't really it. 

I then started writing about friends, but that too didn’t describe the feeling I was trying to articulate and the thoughts I've been having.

I started to write about places to live.  Nope, not even close.

Oranges?  I peeled a very sour one this afternoon not to mention God knows I’ve written about apples.  Nope, not that either...

This entry might feel similar to that of my favorite things entry but is still different.  That talked about things I love.  This is more about how I want to be. 

I figured the best way to write about this feeling was to simply get the thoughts written down knowing I risk making zero sense to anyone but myself with possibly no point in the end nor conclusion.  So here it is guys... here is where I throw myself fearlessly into the flames of my own feelings and I really don’t even know why.. that’s the beauty of this being tanyaswebb.spaces.live.com.  I can write whatever I want and it never has to make any sense to anyone!  I can have typos and incorrect grammar and I don’t care because this is MY BLOG!  And you can do it too, my friends on spaces.live com - Sign Up Today! J 

 

So back to this feeling….

 

There is a vision I have for my life that I hope to achieve one day.  I don’t know where this vision came from since pieces of it are very different from the life I’ve known but quite familiar to lives I’ve seen.  The life I want to live involves a few key things…I want to live in a major city.  I want my life to be extremely simple with little to no complexities.  I want to love my God with all of my heart.  I want to eat a lot of vegetables and fruits.  I want to listen to my zenful music each and every day.  I want to love my family and friends till they hate me and feel smothered.  I wouldn’t mind a dog even.  I would love to live in an old house which has been renovated with modern updates but still retaining its old world character and charm.  I want to organize and become efficient.  I want quality over quantity.  I want to love my grocery store and always enjoy my grocery shopping experience.  I want peace.  I want to cook most of my meals and be very picky about eating out.  I want to make the most awesome brunch at home on Saturday mornings that you can’t even move for the rest of the day.  I want things easy.  I want to be able to walk to places though those places don’t have any real requirements as to what they have to be.  I want to have a positive attitude.  I want healthy living to play a large role in my life.  I want to love.  I want my time with girlfriends always, who continue to keep me sane.  I want to celebrate holidays at my house where I’ve mastered how to plan so well, the crazy chicken is a memory of the past.  I want to assert and stand up for myself when I need to yet always remain tactful.  I want to be surrounded by light.  I want to have the most fulfilling relationship I can have, doing my part with the person I decide to marry.  I want to always celebrate the Spring season when it arrives.  I want to find that thing that clicks for me professionally so I can see myself take off as I've always envisioned.  I want to do up Halloween with pumpkins and the whole works.  I want to celebrate aging, not be sad about it.  I want to enjoy coffee shops and book stores.  I want to be the best possible parent ever taking the time to do it right.  I want to always enjoy nature and respect our environment.  I want to appreciate the little things.  I want to let others win sometimes too.  I want to volunteer my time and help where help is needed.  I want to be forgiving and be forgiven.  I want to read the newspaper not always relying on my laptop for news.  I want to have compassion.  I want to continue to write about meaningless topics whenever I feel like it.  I want to practice power yoga.  I want to eat dried fruit and nuts always.  And I always want to continue to be inspired, learn more, and contribute to the greater good.  This is what I want.  My Life.  My Card.  American Express.  J

 

This is just my thing.

 

tanya  

 

I’m addicted to reading a friend’s daily status and blog updates on his current health condition.  In June 2008, he was diagnosed with a blood disorder called Myelodyspastic Syndrome (MDS). This means his bone marrow is unable to produce enough red blood cells, white blood cells or platelets.  He is currently undergoing treatment for this and every day I find myself in front of my laptop with my face buried in my hands reading how he’s doing.  What a brave guy he is and the positivity coming out in his blogs is just inspiring.  I’m completely fascinated and it's given me an opportunity to really think about the important things. 

 

The donor who gave him her cells for the transplant deserves a gold medal.  A 22-year old girl who was discovered out of 10 million donors… can you imagine?  My friend was recently married, he has his whole life to look forward to being young, super artistic, creative, fun, smart, genuine, amazingly positive attitude ever since I met him 4 years ago, you name it.  But I find myself consumed in the thoughts that life is just so fragile, it is such a delicate thing.  Never waste not even a moment.  And then I think of the times I was upset about something, petty, held a grudge against someone for something so trivial, missed out on a moment of life where I could have been forgiving, finding peace, not sweating the small stuff.  That kills me because at the end of the day, we are but simple beings, with futures and destinies we don’t even know about, and come the day where it is our time to leave this place, how stupid and foolish we will feel for wasting even a second of it on stupid, meaningless things.  How incredibly stupid.  I will feel stupid.  But anxious and concerned for this poor guy who’s going through hell right now, even I realize the flaws and stupidity I have inside and realize patience, kindness, love, peace – everything we’re taught from birth, should be in focus so much more than it is.

 

I know what people say to this though.  They excuse such changes and improvements with phrases like, “easier said than done”… or “but we’re only human.”  Both of these things are very true, but they are true because we use them as excuses and as a crutch to never get better and improve.  EVERYTHING is easier said than done.  Saying is by mouth.  Doing is by action.  As for only being human, no kidding.  Last I looked if I’m talking to you, you’re human.  So what does all this have to do with anything at all, here?  I’ll give you a shiny star for such an unoriginal, generic, meaningless comment though.  You see, I actually find love a lot easier than anger.  And kindness a lot easier than rudeness.  And understanding a lot easier than judgments.  Spread the love, people.  You have tons of it in you.. we see it all the time.   Trash the cynic in you.  What’s the point, you’re going to grow old and grumpy which can’t possibly be fun at all and it will show on your face and you'll look like a sourpuss the rest of your life.  I mean what is so great about that?  But I too find myself reverting to the ways of the world and being one of those people I am talking about in forgetting our whole purpose here and the life we choose to make it.  I am guilty of not doing the right thing, or thinking the right thoughts each and every moment.  So what do we do?

 

Every day we don’t have to breathe using a machine we should be grateful. 

If we have to use that machine, at least we have that machine to use.

Every day we can wake up from the comfort of our own beds, we should be grateful.

Every day we can get in our cars in which we could afford to buy and drive to our jobs which we still have, we should be grateful.

We have access to heat, water, electricity. 

We use electric toothbrushes and hair blow dryers and stoves and ovens.

Our clothes are stylish and we choose what to wear. 

We groom ourselves and pay money to get manicures, pedicures and hair removed from our faces.

We spend money, lots of money on eating out, on coffee (guilty as charged), on other edible luxuries.

We are safe, not worrying about our physical security, not fearing bombs, explosions, wars.

Everything is so convenient too and is at our very fingertips thanks to technology. 

We have no excuses here…

 

Don’t feel bad about the things you do, that’s not my message here, but remember all that you have next time you want to get pissed at someone for cutting you off on the highway.  How do YOU know that very person did not just lose their parent, lose their job, or what might be going in their life.  Act kindly. You never understand another’s shoes until you wear them and perhaps there is a reason that person is rushing by you in which you just don't know about.  We’ll never be able to control those around us.  We’ll only be able to control how we react to them.  

 

So all in all, I really hope to give a little more, love a little more, be grateful a whole lot more, not to forget, way more thankful.  I am happy for my health and perhaps I need to be a little bit more conscience and aware of that as well.  Whenever I want to think the worst about others, I need to think about how I can help them instead.   And if I can’t exactly help them, don’t waste a negative moment or thought dwelling on it.. because life is really just way too short for all this.  Life is way too fragile to take for granted in that what we have today, will still exist tomorrow.  You just never know.

 

In the meantime I’ll continue to pray for my friend, who already seemed so centered to begin with… thanking him for making me realize just how short life is, and what it is I really need to work on, ya know, the important things in life.  Thank you very much for this reminder.   

 

Getting over myself, oh yes I am…

Tanya

I grew up with a dad who was a huge animal lover and a mother who had never had pets until meeting my dad.  Knowing how important pets were to my dad, my mom overlooked her awkwardness and  discomfort with animals and for the most part, I remember her ignoring them.  But it was funny… I remember a couple of times waking up in the middle of the night to find the cat sitting on my mom’s lap and her awkwardly and carefully petting the cat.  But I do remember that.  And as soon as I’d wake up in the morning, there was my mom pretending to despise the animals she secretly cared a lot about but could not let us in on her little secret.  My dad on the other hand was and is very good with animals across the board.  He has an amazing knack for training even the most disobedient of dogs and is also great with cats as well, though dogs have a much softer spot in his heart than cats. 

 

The house built by my parents before I was even thought of is the same house I go to every week to this day to visit.  This house is located on a healthy size piece of land and consequently, has taken care of and seen so many animals and pets during it’s time, you wouldn’t even believe it.  The only thing I never got and asked for every birthday was a HORSE!  But other than that, I saw a lot of animals come through our residence and we had some really funny experiences. 

 

When I was born, we had two dogs -- a yellow Labrador named Goldie and a German Sheppard named Max.  Goldie was a typical Labrador, very kid friendly, dedicated to our family and very easy going always trying to help where she could.  Max on the other hand, was an amazing watch dog but had the tendency to eat the neighbor’s chickens so when I was a small child I remember us driving to Mt. Vernon to give Max to a friend who could provide a better home for him.  A home far away from chickens.  To this day when I see Mt. Vernon I think of Max. 

 

Shortly after Max moved on from our house, a little tiny brown wiener dog came traipsing into our yard.  We put up fliers around the neighborhood as he obviously belonged to someone but after days of no claims, we named him “Precious.”  Precious was quite cute but was quite the shadow of Goldie.  Wherever Goldie went, Precious followed.  Me, I was still growing at this point, thinking Goldie was a horse one day, and Precious was a cat the next.  I was quite confused about these two guys, so my parents decided to get me a real cat.  Our next door neighbors and family friends had a litter of kittens so I picked a black and white cat and named her Teeger.  I don’t really recall what happened to this black and white Teeger but I want to say she ran away if my memory serves me correctly.  Very saddened, my parents got me another cat and this cat was Teeger 2.  Teeger 2 who I’ll now just call Teeger, was an all white, long haired cat who only liked me and who I was insanely crazy about.  Teeger was my very best friend in the whole wide world and you know how kids get professional portraits taken each year of themselves?  Well, a few of mine included Teeger in them.  HAHA!  Anytime there was a show-n-tell day at school, Teeger was my guest.  I mean, this cat was my life.  I wrote poems about Teeger, created books about Teeger, even won an art contest at school for drawing Teeger.  I mean it was Tanya & Teeger always.  ALWAYS.

 

So, while having Teeger, Goldie and Precious, I recall a Parrot flew to our house one time and stayed for awhile but I believe someone did respond to the flier we had out for it and so that was very short lived pet we had, though I have pictures of my dad with this large parrot on his shoulder drinking my dad’s orange juice from his glass.  I think there were other stray animals here and there but these three were the main ones.  Then one day my dad decided that chickens were a good idea for pets.  And not the chickens we would eat either.  The chickens which would give us eggs!  My parents were big into this sort of thing..I may have forgotten one detail here … we also grew vegetables (tomatoes, lettuce, garlic, herbs) had fruit trees (apple, plum and cherry) as well as a potato and strawberry patch!  It was HEAVEN as a child.  Now if you know me, you’d probably laugh at the fact I grew up climbing cherry trees and flinging gardener snakes around but this was a child’s haven.  Absolutely.  Honestly I thank my parents so much for the childhood I had.  Everything was so well done, right down to our cable swing, tree house (1 built by my dad, another built by my 3 older brothers), hand-built swing and nature trails.  It was so phenomenal.  Anyway, back to animals..

 

When I was 10 years old I went away to camp one summer.  As we were driving back onto our street I said to my mom out of nowhere and to this day I’m not even sure why, but I said, “Mom – did Goldie die while I was gone?”  One look she gave me and I was bawling my eyes out.  Apparently while I was at camp, Goldie’s old age had finally caught up to her.  She said they were forced to put Goldie down as she couldn’t even walk or function anymore.  She warned me my dad had been quiet for days and that he was in deep mourning over Goldie.  Well, I remember hugging Teeger and Precious so tightly as soon as I got home, asking them to never ever die on me.  My parents showed me Goldie’s grave which was further out on our property with a stone and everything.  Shortly after Goldie’s death then Precious died from what my mom explained was a broken heart.  See after Goldie died, Precious still continued to wait for Goldie to come home and one day when Goldie never did, Precious died down the street at our mailbox waiting for Goldie’s return.  All I had left was Teeger, and some egg laying chickens. 

 

A few years passed and I went to California to visit my Rosales relatives in San Diego.  I was with my grandparents and then later my mom came down and met me there.  We were having great fun as I always loved going to see my Rosales side, when one afternoon I heard my mom on the phone with my dad.  My mom was saying very generic things and trying to mask what I could tell was a nervous voice and as soon as she hung up she walked away in the other direction.  I went and followed her and said very bluntly, “Mom – did Teeger die?”  She stopped, turned around, gave me the very same look she gave with Goldie she replied, “Tanya, why do you think that?”  And I said “Mom, just tell me, DID TEEGER DIE?”  But she did not have to tell me, nor was able to get the words out.  I already knew.  My mom later explained Teeger had been shot by a BB gun while she was up in a tree, from a neighborhood kid who had been chasing her, I thought I was literally going to die.  At age 12, I thought my life was officially over.   I cried like I’ve never cried before.  My Rosales grandparents who had never had pets before looked at me and said “Promise you’ll cry this hard when we die too!” which I did not find very funny at the time.  We left San Diego shortly after and I returned to my life, but without my Teeger.  It was quite a sad time for me.  I couldn’t stand to be in my bedroom.  That was the room Teeger always stayed in and listened to classical music while I would go to school each day.  I cried for days.  Weeks.  I removed anything and everything that reminded me of Teeger.  I saw her hair on things and could not keep it together.  Two months went on like this and my parents did not know what to do. 

 

One day while walking home from the bus stop, I noticed something a little bit different this day.  There was a new cat in our yard.  I called the cat over and found it was a BEAUTIFUL cat.  This was one of those very fluffy Siamese type cats with bright blue eyes.  I took the cat inside and my mom was in awe to see this cat.  She hated animals but quickly took to this cat.  That evening as we prepared our fliers yet again, she told me perhaps this was an angelic cat, an Angel, coming into my life as I needed something to help me get over Teeger since things were not getting any easier.  Suddenly I felt OK.  Perhaps Teeger was up there watching over me and knew I needed to get over it all.  I loved this idea because then it meant Teeger was still there, looking after me, making sure I was OK.  No one claimed the cat and we named him “Kabuki.”  I would invite friends over to show them Kabuki and even friends who hated cats fell in love with Kabuki.  Just 3 months after Kabuki walked into my life, I let him outside the house as I normally did, and watched him walk down our drive way.  He literally looked back at me and I thought what is he doing, why is he going down there, but figured he’d come back.  Needless to say, Kabuki never returned but perhaps my mom was right about things after all.  Even if not, I was comforted thinking she was. 

 

The chickens slowly disappeared, either getting chased by coyotes at night, or what not, and soon our house was pretty animal-less for the first time in history.  I entered college and was living at home when my dad asked me if I wanted to get a kitten, knowing how much I took to cats.  I told him sure and he came back with a Labrador puppy instead. J  He named this puppy Alex as Alex Rodriguez was my dad’s favorite baseball player at the time, and my dad started the puppy training process.  I recall my dad telling me this was more work than he remembered us kids being, but Alex was such a good dog I saw my dad thoroughly enjoy this.  I could see the connection between my dad and Alex be even greater than with Goldie.  Perhaps it was because Alex was the only child at that point and had all of the attention.  But Alex was the dream dog.  Not only was he trained but he was a good Samaritan.  He waited for kids at the bus stop and walked them home every day, though none of the kids were his owner.  One little girl would not walk home from the bus stop until Alex arrived to get her which posed problems and my dad had to stop Alex from walking kids home due to that.   My dad used to bring him to nursing homes (by request) to visit the sick elderly as Alex was walked to each room to hang with the patients and would put smiles on everyone’s face.  This dog was my dad’s right hand buddy whenever he went fishing in the Puget Sound.  If my dad was doing anything in the yard, here comes Alex with tools in his mouth which he just stole from the neighbors, thinking he was helping my dad out.  But Alex was to my dad, what Teeger had been to me and Alex was definitely my dad's best friend. 

 

The year my grandmother became very sick from her Alzheimer’s, Alex was diagnosed with cancer.  Within two months both my grandma passed as well as Alex and I have never seen my dad in such bad shape ever.  It’s been 2 years since this took place and my dad talks about Alex as if he threw him his ball just yesterday.  Only recently did my dad change our answering machine greeting where it was my dad's voice talking then an Alex bark at the very end of the greeting which my dad thought that was so cute!  But our house is very different without Alex’s presence there. I’m encouraging my dad to think about another pup but he says he’s just not sure he can go through all this yet again – perhaps our animal days are done.  I understand where he’s coming from – it’s the very reason I personally have chosen to not have animals again, though there are two cats still living in our house, who are very sweet and almost as big as little dogs.  But still not dogs.  And definitely not an Alex to my dad. 

 

But our family has seen its share of animals throughout the years.  I am grateful and thankful to have known each and everyone of them.  At times they were my teddy bear, my horse, my secret confidante I'd tell everything to, my doll, the one to help me finish my dinner with out my parents knowing, my protector, my best friend.  Our family did love each and every one of our pets so much and I hope we were half as good to them as they were good to us. So, I wanted to write about this because people who have never had animals do not understand the relationship and the connections animals have with human beings.  I just saw the movie "Marley and Me" last night which of course described this pet connection and bond so perfectly.  The very end of the movie explained it so well….

 

A dog does not care if you’re rich or if you’re poor.  A dog does not care what job you have or where you live.  A dog will love you no matter what you are and who you are and in their eyes, you will always be the greatest thing to them.  How many humans can you say treats you this same way with this same kind of love and dedication? 

 

And it’s true.  It’s undeniably true.  Cheers to all the dog, cat, bird, chicken and animal lovers out there!  Pets and animals make the world a much better place and life that much more enjoyable.

 

RIP Goldie, Precious, Teeger, Alex … Rest in Peace... and they are, each and every one of them are buried in our back yard including a couple gold fish.

Xoxo.

 

I’m writing to people about my home owning experience so that for those in the market looking for a place can be ware the pitfalls one can go through in what was simply meant to be an investment for me.  This is only a warning to people based from my experience.  I know many who've had only wonderful experiences!!

 

I bought my condo 3 years ago and for those who know me, know I can barely pick out an apartment for myself let alone invest in a piece of property I’d like.  Well, after months of looking, I finally found a condo which met my needs: great location, decent price, my style.  After finding this place and what I thought was a great investment, this experience has made me incredibly nervous in the whole home owning process and experience.  As since purchasing this condo, I’ve had nothing but headache after headache and am waiting for the day I can myself out from under this money pit by selling it.  This has been a horrible experience.  The worst part?  I don’t even live there!  1 year after living there I moved out to avoid an estranged person from bothering me and decided to rent out my condo.  But as good idea as I thought this was to buy real-estate, sometimes it does not pay to invest as I feel this place has caused me nothing but problems.

 

A.    The lawsuit.  A few months after moving in I was told as an home owner in this building, we would be suing another unit for damage which was caused and in which had incurred multiple special assessments.  By the time I moved in, the previous owner paid a total of $25K in special assessments for this particular repair.  All units were suing to recover from what they believed was damage caused by another owner.  The law suit (excluding the additional special assessment costs) has cost each owner about $10K each in attorney fees.  I’ve had very little say in this lawsuit since being a newer owner of 8 others in the building I did not have the history other owners had with this tenant.  For the record, I was against the lawsuit from day 1.  For a 100 year old (but rockin) building, repairs were inevitable.  Blaming 1 unit for $300K worth of repairs which affected an entire whole side of the building did not stand a chance in court if you ask me…The current status is, the law suit was settled out of court just two weeks ago.  Additional attorney fees are being assessed and owners will walk away with nothing, if not still owing more.  I don’t know about you, but there’s nothing like throwing money down the drain!  I’m still trying to find the logic in why the owners felt this was worth the money it cost them.

B.    The special assessments.  A few months after moving in the construction started.  Additional special assessments were claimed for the extra cost of the repairs not accounted for in the original estimate.  The special assessments for the same repair cost each owner about $15K on top of the original $25K (which at least I wasn’t here for).

C.    The tenants.  So, I told you I moved out right?  For the most part the tenants have been decent.  Sadly the current tenants in the building who I completely adore, are moving out of the country back to Japan in which they just moved here from but family needs them.  But today I was contacted by Seattle City Light of a $615 bill in which a tenant almost two years ago never paid therefore it has default back to me, the owner.  I’ve been dealing with this all morning. 

D.    The super cranky neighbor downstairs.  My wonderful current tenants emailed me Monday telling me the neighbor below them is scarying them.  They have a 1 year old baby girl and said the neighbor below bangs on the door and rings the door bell nonstop until they answer the door, only to scream and yell at her that she’s a bad parent as their baby is too loud.  Never hearing of this before, I contacted my neighbor below asking him to contact me, the landlord (owner) if there were ever any issues so I could talk to my tenants directly, and he told me and I quote: “I will continue to contact them directly whenever and by whatever means I see fit.”  Since his ways are frightening and his behavior is harassing as my tenant told me she’s incredibly scared of this man and looks out her window 100 times a day to see if he’s around, fearing he will come to her unit again yelling, I asked her next time he comes up to let me know and we’ll call the cops together.  I’ve already contacted a police officer about this who agreed this is harassment and they can issue a warning to him.  For the record, every tenant I’ve had has claimed this neighbor to come up yelling at them.  When you pick a basement unit of a building, you’ve got to expect to hear noise.

E.     The added costs.  My HOAs were low to start with, which was one of the reasons I had picked this building, but since buying this place, they’ve gone up some.  I’m constantly being hit with unforeseen costs I never expected.  It’s been a total nightmare.

 

So, my advice???

 

Hindsight is indeed 20/20 and looking at this experience here’s what I would advise:

 

1.     When asking your potential HOA if there will be any future assessments and they say no, ask another homeowner in the building or just assume there will be.

2.     Expect your HOAs to go up most definitely.

3.     Consider a house over a condo to avoid bitter neighbors living in the basement, as well as lawsuits you’d rather not be part of.

4.     Don’t buy out of frustration.  I looked for quite some time so I jumped on this place as it “appeared” to meet my needs.  Still do all the necessary research.

5.     Add on an additional $1000/month as a safety net to your mortgage budget for unforeseen costs.

 

The good side:

The only good thing I’m happy about at this point is that I thank GOD all the time my condo is easily rentable.  I thank myself for being stubborn about then location which has attracted renters every time I place ads.  Knock on wood.  I just can’t send this blog link to any potential tenants or they’ll run for the hills… no, having lived there, it’s a wonderful place to live and the place is beeeeautiful, especially in the summer, but sometimes it’ll have the cranky characters you can expect of the city.

 

I’m still hoping to come out not having lost any $ in the end.  I’m hoping when I do decide to sell I at least walk away breaking even.  I’m no longer expecting more even.. breaking even would suffice.  I don’t care at all.

 

So people in the market, here it is.. be really careful out there and make sure you consider all things well!  Even when you try and do everything right, you can still be completely shocked.  If the deal just doesn’t feel right, DO NOT DO IT either. Be more than ready when you make this decision.  Normally my gut is good but this experience has really thrown me for a loop, that’s for sure.  I thought it would be worth it and it’s not been at all.  L 

 

Anxious to sell,

Tanya

I know this is going to be a fun month but also a very stressful month.  It started with a sleep lacking beginning since the Thanksgiving weekend bled into the early part of December and some of us attended a really fun wedding.  We had a great time but we didn't feel like sleeping.  For 5 days.  Since then, there have been birthdays, people arriving, people planning on going, trips coming up, anniversaries, shopping, and so much more.  I mean there’s a lot going on.  And my head feels screwed on only half way as I survive each day feeling I had no sleep yet again living off starbucks and adrenaline.  But really,  I’m super tired.  I want to have some good coffee and should go get some.  It would probably help a lot right now.  Next week I’m off to hang in Texas of all places with some family who’s there.  That should be interesting.  I’m looking forward to it though.  As soon as I return my best friend from Maui gets here with her husband.  I am just always excited to see her – it makes me so happy always.  I have a few best friends who help give me peace of mind when I start to lose it and panic or act like a crazy nut head.  She is one of them as is Awesta.  I miss both of them.  A lot.  Friendships are hard to keep going, especially at a distance yet at times I feel closer to them as far as they might be.  But shortly after that it’ll be Christmas.  And then New Years.  And it’s going to be a fun month but there’s a lot going on.  I'm feeling stressed by it all too.  And I haven’t even factored in work to this explanation here.  I hope I take the time to enjoy everything and appreciate all who have come and gone this month and the fun stuff we get to celebrate.  Life stops for no one.  It continues to move and we can enjoy or it be stressed out by it.  I should find that joy before I break out in hives. 

 

Happy December.  Keep on smiling!